THE WALTZ OF THE DOGS

A PLAY IN FOUR ACTS

BY LEONID ANDREYEV

ANATHEMA
THE LIFE OF MAN
THE SORROWS OF BELGIUM

THE
WALTZ OF THE DOGS

A Play in Four Acts

BY
LEONID ANDREYEV

AUTHORIZED TRANSLATION FROM THE
ORIGINAL MANUSCRIPT BY
HERMAN BERNSTEIN

New York
THE MACMILLAN COMPANY
1922

All rights reserved

PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

COPYRIGHT, 1922,
BY HERMAN BERNSTEIN.

Set up and printed. Published September, 1922.

Press of
J. J. Little & Ives Company
New York, U. S. A.

CHARACTERS

HENRY TILE
CARL TILE, His Brother
ELIZABETH
ALEXANDROV, nicknamed “Feklusha”
“HAPPY JENNIE”
ANDREY TIZENHAUSEN
IVAN YERMOLAYEV
IVAN, man servant
TWO HOUSE PAINTERS

THE WALTZ OF THE DOGS

ACT I

SCENE: _Two house painters are singing a song behind the wall. They sing it softly, without words, monotonously. CARL TILE, a student, is sitting at his brother HENRY TILE’S writing table. The apartment is new, not yet completely finished or furnished; nor is the room in which CARL TILE is sitting completely finished. It is intended as a drawing room, and the new furniture is arranged in strict order: armchairs, plain chairs, a small round table near a couch, an oval mirror; but there are no rugs, no draperies, and no paintings. In the middle of the room a table is set for dinner. Everything in the room is angular, cold, lifeless—life had not yet begun there. The new little piano is very glossy; music is arranged on the music stand. CARL TILE is busying himself with a skeleton key._

CARL

The house painters are singing.

He whistles softly to the tune of the quiet song without words. Then he strikes the table with his palm softly and says:

Yes.

He strikes the table twice again after measured pauses, repeating:

Yes—Yes.

Pause.

I have just opened my brother Henry’s table with a skeleton key. I was looking for money. But I found only twenty-five rubles—only twenty-five rubles. That’s too little.

Again he strikes the table after measured pauses.

Yes—Yes—Yes. I wonder whether my brother Henry—Henry Tile—knows that I am a cardsharp, a gambler, a thief, that I am looking for a woman to support me! No, he does not know. My brother Henry is not wise. No. No. Now he’ll think the house painters stole the twenty-five rubles, he may not even notice that they are missing. “Brother Carl!” he says, “Brother Carl.” Yes.—But could I?—If Henry had much money, oh, a lot of money, of course—and if it could be done unnoticed, oh, of course, unnoticed—could I kill Henry, my brother Henry Tile?

_He rises and walks up and down the room twice. He is tall, straight, in a long student’s coat, hanging clumsily and loosely upon him. His hair is brushed back smoothly, and is glossy. The dark blue collar of his coat is unusually high. Carl’s face is dry, somewhat stern, with regular features, and very decorous. He sits down at the table again and taps it three times, saying_:

Yes—Yes—Yes. The house painters are singing. A sad tune. A quiet tune. I am a scamp, yet I am fond of sad songs, while my brother Henry has no taste at all. And his new apartment is dreadful. There is something here that inspires crime. The house painters are singing.

_He whistles softly to the accompaniment of the tune. He hears the sound of the door opening in the corridor, voices; and rising slowly, he walks up and down the room with measured steps as before. Enter HENRY TILE, and his associates, DMITRY YERMOLAYEV, a stumpy man of Russian type, and ANDREY TIZENHAUSEN. Behind them walks ALEXANDROV, smiling confusedly and happily. He is nicknamed “Feklusha”—he had been a schoolmate of HENRY TILE in the first classes of the gymnasium._

HENRY

Hello, Carl. How are you?

CARL

Hello, Henry. Thank you. And how are you?

HENRY

Thank you, I’m well. Gentlemen, are you all acquainted with my brother Carl? Carl, these are my associates at the bank—they are all gentlemen for whom I have a great deal of respect.

TIZENHAUSEN

How do you do, Mr. Tile?

YERMOLAYEV

Very pleased to make your acquaintance. You resemble your older brother very much, very much.

HENRY

O, yes, we resemble each other a great deal. He is a fine fellow, a serious worker.

To Carl:

And this gentleman is known as Feklusha—are you acquainted? They call him Feklusha.

Laughs.

We used to go to school together—to the Peter school. He was expelled from the second class, and he has had hard luck all his life. Feklusha, you were expelled from the second class, weren’t you?

Laughs.

FEKLUSHA

From the third, Mr. Tile. For lack of ability. My conduct was excellent.

HENRY

He says, for lack of ability!

Laughs.

I met him on the Nevsky yesterday. It was raining hard—Twenty years have passed since we parted, still I recognized him. And he was walking very fast. You were running, Feklusha, weren’t you?

FEKLUSHA

It was raining, and I had no umbrella. I was running!

HENRY

I invited him to dinner to-day. But, gentlemen, I hope you will forgive me if the dinner is not as good as I should like you to have in my new home. This is my first dinner at home, and I cannot guarantee that my new cook is an expert.

YERMOLAYEV

Mr. Tile, why should you excuse yourself? I only hope we are not inconveniencing you.

HENRY

Oh, no, I am glad.

TIZENHAUSEN

What excuses! On the contrary, I am highly flattered that you invited me to the first dinner at your own home. When you are married, and you will have everything in order, you will forget your old friend Andrey Tizenhausen.

HENRY

Everything will be in order, but I will never forget old friends. Sit still and smoke your cigar.

YERMOLAYEV

To Carl:

Didn’t I see you last week at Donon’s restaurant? You were sitting there with a lady and an officer—I believe he was an officer of the guards?

CARL

Lying.

No. I never go to Donon’s.

HENRY

Carl can’t afford such expensive restaurants.

YERMOLAYEV

Then I must be mistaken. Excuse me. But he looked exactly like you.

HENRY

You were mistaken, Dmitry.

To Carl:

Well, how are you getting on with your work? I like to hear about your achievements.

CARL

Lying.

I delivered the second installment yesterday.

HENRY

Oh, that’s good. You are a serious worker. But, gentlemen, isn’t this song annoying you? I hear it again. My house painters are singing there.

TIZENHAUSEN

It’s without words. I didn’t think they called that a song.

YERMOLAYEV

Listening.

But it’s good! There is something of the stage-coach driver in it.

To Henry:

My father was a stage-coach driver.

HENRY

It sounds very good to me, too. Although my father was of Swedish descent, I feel that I am a Russian, and I understand this. This is Russian sadness.

TIZENHAUSEN

Although my name is Tizenhausen, I don’t even know how to speak German. I am a Russian. Nevertheless—you will pardon me, Henry, I don’t understand the meaning of this Russian sadness.

HENRY

Oh, one must feel it.

TIZENHAUSEN

Do you feel it?

HENRY

Not now. Oh, now I am so happy that I cannot feel any sadness—Russian, Swedish, or German!

All laugh.

TIZENHAUSEN

Manly words, Henry! But won’t you show us your new apartment before it gets dark? I am dying of curiosity, I want to see how you are building your nest. Look out, Henry, I am an old and experienced man!

HENRY

Oh, you can’t frighten me, you old grumbler!

Laughs.

I am only a happy fiancé, but you will see what a definite plan I have. Oh, you’ll see!

YERMOLAYEV

I’d be delighted to see.

HENRY

Please follow me. Carl, be so kind as to stay here with Feklusha while I show them my home. Feklusha, please smoke, the cigarettes are on the table.

They go out. FEKLUSHA, confused, takes a cigarette. CARL lights a match and holds it out to him, while he examines him coldly.

FEKLUSHA

Bending over to the match,

Thank you very much, I’ll do it myself.

CARL

Please. Why do they call you by such an absurd name—“Feklusha”? It’s a woman’s name.

FEKLUSHA

How shall I tell you, Mr. Tile? I suppose it’s on account of my character. I am always somewhat timid, inclined to tears, and in the same manner, too hasty—quick in my thoughts.

CARL

Why “in the same manner”?

FEKLUSHA

They say so.

CARL

No, they don’t. But you are not very quick to-day. Where are you employed?

FEKLUSHA

How shall I tell you, Mr. Tile? I’m employed by the police.

CARL

What!

FEKLUSHA

No, no, I am working in the office of the chief of police, in the passport department. Mr. Henry Tile knows about it.

CARL

Are you getting much?

FEKLUSHA

Forty rubles—well, together with gratuities and extras, and so on, it comes to about ninety rubles. A very trivial sum.

CARL

A large family?

FEKLUSHA

Enormous!

CARL

Why don’t you get into the detective service? It’s more profitable, you could earn more.

FEKLUSHA

You’re joking. How can I?

CARL

No. I am serious. You are hardly suited to be a provocateur, but as an ordinary detective you might do. It isn’t as hard as it seems. How much does a good detective get?

FEKLUSHA

A trifle—they don’t get much.

CARL

I mean a good detective?

FEKLUSHA

Oh, a really good detective gets enormous sums. But since you are talking to me in such a friendly spirit, I must confess to you, I have tried it, I have made all kinds of efforts—but—

CARL

But what?

FEKLUSHA

Nothing. I have no abilities of any kind, I am not fit for anything worth while. That’s my misfortune. That’s why I’m doomed—I have no abilities.

CARL

None?

FEKLUSHA

Not the slightest! You know, there are so many opportunities around me that if God had only given me some talent, I could have provided for my family perfectly. But without talents, I run about, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t earn another kopek. How can I?

CARL

Feklusha, could you make or get—I don’t know what you call it there—could you get me a false foreign passport?

FEKLUSHA

No. I couldn’t! How could I?

CARL

But if you tried—for a substantial sum?

FEKLUSHA

What do you need it for?

CARL

One must always have a foreign passport for an emergency. No, I am only jesting, of course. Were you really running when my brother Henry met you?

FEKLUSHA

You are laughing at me, Mr. Tile? Pardon me, but I don’t quite understand your conversation.

CARL

No, Feklusha, I am not laughing. Do I look like a man who is fond of laughing? Henry asked me to entertain you, and I am entertaining you. Does Henry intend to assist you?

FEKLUSHA

I would be extremely happy! He told me that he was giving financial aid to his brother—he meant you, Mr. Tile?

CARL

Yes. But I prefer to speak about you, Feklusha. Tell me, when you were a detective, did you often have dealings with murderers?

FEKLUSHA

With murderers?

Henry and his friends return, talking. Henry is laughing.

HENRY

You are surprised, you old grumbler? Let me brush off your coat, you have soiled your sleeve, Dmitry.

CARL

I’ll bring the brush.

YERMOLAYEV

It isn’t worth bothering, really, it isn’t.

HENRY

He’ll bring the brush. Carl, fetch it. Well, gentlemen, how do you like it?

Laughs happily.

YERMOLAYEV

It’s a wonderful little apartment, Henry.

TIZENHAUSEN

Yes, I am astounded, Henry.

HENRY

In the dining room I will have oak-colored wall paper, eventually I will change it to oak veneer. The windows of the nursery, as I said before, will always have the sun. It will always be light there. That’s hygienic, and essential in Petrograd. Unfortunately, I had too little sunshine during my own childhood, so I want my children to have plenty. Sunlight is essential.

TIZENHAUSEN

But, Henry, you talk as if you already had children, and a heap of them! That is the self-assurance of a bachelor!

HENRY

I will have them.

Enter CARL with a brush.

HENRY

Please, Dmitry, Carl will brush your sleeve. I will have them. I have already bought a children’s cot—in a week from now it will be in its proper place waiting for its master.

Laughs.

YERMOLAYEV

And when is the wedding to take place?

HENRY

In a week from now the apartment will be ready. In seventeen days, counting from to-day, the wedding will take place. To-day, by the next mail, in about twenty minutes from now, just before dinner, I will get a letter from Elizabeth, in which she will inform me exactly on what day she arrives. Elizabeth went to Moscow to see her parents. Now this room, Andrey! Here, rugs. There, portières. In these vases, always fresh flowers.

TIZENHAUSEN

That’s a luxury, Henry.

HENRY

Fresh flowers are not a luxury. And here, over the piano, I will have two gravures—meanwhile I haven’t enough money for paintings—the head of Beethoven and Giorgoni’s “Concert.” Are you looking, Feklusha?

FEKLUSHA

I am staring!

HENRY

Laughing.

Staring! And here, Andrey, in this corner, will be an armchair in which I will sit quietly while Elizabeth plays Beethoven and Grieg. You see, I have already secured the music from which she will play for the first time, while I will be sitting in my armchair.

Shakes the dust off the music and replaces it carefully and tenderly.

How dusty!

TIZENHAUSEN

That’s from the workmen, Henry.

HENRY

There will be no dust in my home. Have you a piano, Feklusha?

FEKLUSHA

Where would I get it, Henry?

HENRY

Laughs.

He says, where would he get it? Let me tell you, Andrey, this nook where I am going to sit and listen is my particular joy.

YERMOLAYEV

Have you a lease for this apartment?

HENRY

Yes. I have a lease for three years, with the privilege of renewing. I don’t want to change apartments every three years. Yes, Andrey. My mind is dry and practical, I have no talent for music, but I am extremely fond of it, just as my brother Carl is.

CARL

But you play, Henry.

HENRY

What! Don’t joke, Carl.

CARL

Have you forgotten? You played well in our nursery days.

TIZENHAUSEN

So that’s the sort of man you are, Henry! At the bank we are under the impression that you are only a splendid financier, with a most remarkable head for figures, while now it appears that you are also a musician. Henry—a Mozart!

HENRY

Laughs.

Not quite so important. Yes, I recall. There’s a little piece I used to play with two fingers, that my mother taught me to play when I was a child. It is called by a strange name—“The Waltz of the Dogs.”

CARL

Play it, Henry.

HENRY

Threatening with his finger:

Now, now, Carl!

TIZENHAUSEN

No, you must!

To Yermolayev:

Don’t you think he ought to play it for us, or we’ll be offended and leave.

YERMOLAYEV

So that’s the kind of talents you have, Henry! I never suspected it, never! And at the bank we don’t know anything about it. Play!

HENRY

Laughs.

Now, now. But I must admit that Elizabeth is very fond of my “Waltz of the Dogs,” very!

All laugh.

CARL

Well, then, Henry?

HENRY

Carl, you are a jester.

Mockingly:

But since the audience demands it——

Sits down by the piano, says with mock solemnity:

I beg the audience to listen attentively. I will now play “The Waltz of the Dogs.”

_He plays “The Waltz of the Dogs.” During the playing he sits straight, serious, his face is immobile, almost petrified, but after finishing his play, he bursts into laughter. While HENRY is playing, CARL watches him coldly and closely, then he is the first to applaud. General applause, but as there are only few listeners, the sound is light._

HENRY

Bowing mockingly:

Ladies and gentlemen, your humble servant! I cannot play an encore, but whoever wishes to hear this music again, is invited to come in seventeen days to the wedding ceremony of Henry Tile and the maiden Elizabeth Molchanova. Then I shall play it again.

He laughs and closes the piano cover.

FEKLUSHA

At what time will the wedding take place?

HENRY

At half past seven. And don’t be late! But you will learn all this from the invitations which are already being printed.

TIZENHAUSEN

Are you happy, Henry?

HENRY

Yes, my friend! Let me clasp your hand, but silently, silently, Andrey. This way. And now, gentlemen, don’t you feel that after my music your appetite has grown stronger? Aren’t you hungry? Carl, please tell my new cook that in ten minutes we shall be ready to have her pass an examination.

CARL

I am going.

Exit, soon returns.

HENRY

Are you hungry, Feklusha?

FEKLUSHA

Yes. It wouldn’t do any harm to eat.

HENRY

Laughs.

He says, it wouldn’t do any harm! And the cognac? Will that do any harm?

FEKLUSHA

That surely wouldn’t do any harm.

All laugh.

TIZENHAUSEN

I suppose you think that your schoolmate doesn’t drink anything but sacred water? Then you are making a great mistake—he drinks cognac.

HENRY

Laughs.

He drinks cognac!

FEKLUSHA

Laughs.

A pleasant occupation! There’s no use in hiding the fact: in spite of my general lack of ability, this talent——

Sighs.

I have.

YERMOLAYEV

It’s most remarkable, Henry. I have watched you for eight years, we have been in restaurants together, but I have never seen you drink too much!

HENRY

Laughing.

Really?

YERMOLAYEV

Never!

TIZENHAUSEN

And you never will, Dmitry! He has a strong head, such as this world has never seen before!

HENRY

Do you think so? Perhaps you are right. And what is more—Gentlemen, the bell! That’s the postman, bringing a letter from Elizabeth. Carl, please.

Exit CARL. HENRY is agitated, but restrained.

HENRY

To Feklusha:

So you are fond of cognac?

CARL

Entering.

A letter from Moscow, registered. Sign here, Henry.

HENRY

Signing.

I always asked her to send it registered. Here are twenty kopeks for the postman. So. Now they are writing us from Moscow.

Tearing the envelope open.

You will pardon me, gentlemen?

TIZENHAUSEN

How can we prevent a lover from reading his letters? Go ahead, Henry, we are not here.

HENRY reads slowly and long. He turns pale at the first lines, and keeps growing ever paler. No one but CARL is watching him.

YERMOLAYEV

Softly:

A wonderful little apartment! It’s very hard to find one like it nowadays.

FEKLUSHA

You can’t even touch any apartments now—it’s simply terrible.

TIZENHAUSEN

Have you a family?

FEKLUSHA

An enormous one!

CARL

Loudly:

Aren’t you feeling well, Henry?

All look with alarm at HENRY. He gets up, walks two steps, and without saying a word strikes the table with a powerful blow of his fist. Bottles and glasses fall. All jump to their feet.

CARL

Henry!

TIZENHAUSEN

Henry!

HENRY strikes the table once more just as forcefully with his fist, without saying a word. He stands silently, surveying them all with red eyes, as if looking for some one to attack.

YERMOLAYEV

Bring him some water!

HENRY

I need no water!

TIZENHAUSEN

Henry! My dear Henry! Has anything terrible happened?

HENRY

No, nothing terrible.

CARL

Henry, calm yourself.

HENRY

I am calm.

TIZENHAUSEN

No. Something terrible has happened. My dear Henry! We are here! We are all your friends, Henry!

HENRY

I must ask you to excuse me, but there will be no dinner to-day. Carl, tell the new cook that she may go home now.

Exit CARL, returns soon.

TIZENHAUSEN

Who cares about the dinner! You shouldn’t worry about such trifles, Henry!

YERMOLAYEV

Who cares about the dinner?

HENRY

There will be no dinner here to-day.

He suddenly strikes the table again.

TIZENHAUSEN

Almost crying.

Oh, my God! What a misfortune, Henry!

HENRY

Yes? Here is a very strange letter, Andrey. Either there’s something wrong in this letter, or I can’t read it. Read it, Andrey, and tell me. Perhaps I have grown blind.

TIZENHAUSEN

Reads.

No, you haven’t grown blind, my poor Henry.

Reads.

No, it’s impossible!

HENRY

And does it say there, “I still love you”?

TIZENHAUSEN

Yes, yes, Henry.

HENRY

So. Then I am not blind. And does it say there “But because of the insistence of my parents I am going to be married.”

TIZENHAUSEN

Henry! She is already married. She is already married!

HENRY

She is already married to a wealthy man. What is his name, Andrey?

TIZENHAUSEN

His name is not mentioned.

HENRY

Not mentioned. So. And how did she sign it?

TIZENHAUSEN

Reading:

“Your unworthy Elizabeth.”

HENRY

Unworthy Elizabeth. Yes. Unworthy Elizabeth.

Suddenly strikes the table forcefully.

Unworthy Elizabeth!

TIZENHAUSEN

But my dear friend, my unfortunate friend.

CARL

Keep up your courage, Henry!

HENRY

I will not do it any more.

YERMOLAYEV

Henry, it isn’t worth worrying about. Such things happen in life. You will find a better bride for yourself.

HENRY

I will not do it any more. But, Andrey, don’t you find that it is written with precise exactness: “Unworthy Elizabeth.” Who? “Unworthy Elizabeth.” Who? Henry Tile. And who else? “Unworthy Elizabeth.” Don’t you feel like laughing, Feklusha?

FEKLUSHA

Frightened.

No, Henry.

HENRY

You must not laugh. I will not allow any laughter. But, Andrey, don’t you think that the whole letter is written in very precise language?

TIZENHAUSEN

Excuse me, Henry, but in my opinion—the opinion of an honest man—this is a contemptible letter. Yes.

HENRY

And in my opinion it is simply a very precise letter. Henry Tile loves accuracy—all his life he never made a mistake in a single kopek, he never made a mistake in addition, he never made a mistake in a single cipher, and now they have written a precise letter to Henry Tile. And it is signed: “Unworthy Elizabeth.” Gentlemen, I should like to remain here alone.

TIZENHAUSEN

But how can you stay here alone, my dear friend?

HENRY

Never mind. I’ll stay here alone.

CARL

If you like, I’ll stay with you.

HENRY

No, Carl. I don’t need you. Good night. To-morrow we will meet at the bank. Carl I want to say a few words to you.

Quietly:

Here is some money, please take these people to a restaurant and treat them to a good dinner.

CARL

May I clasp your hand, Henry?

HENRY

It’s hardly necessary, but, please. Press it firmly.

CARL

I am pressing it firmly.

HENRY

Smiling:

No, press harder still.

CARL

I am. What do you want?

They strangely measure their strength. The others look on uneasily.

HENRY

Are you pressing with all your strength? Press harder.

CARL

I can’t press harder.

HENRY

And I?

Presses Carl’s hand.

TIZENHAUSEN

Don’t, Henry. Leave him!

CARL

Henry, stop!

HENRY

Smiling:

And I?

CARL

Turning pale and shrinking,

It hurts. Stop! You’ll break my hand!

Henry releases his brother’s hand and laughs.

HENRY

You are very strong, Carl.

CARL

I don’t like such jokes!

HENRY

Morosely:

Excuse me, Carl. That was really wrong. Excuse me. Good night, gentlemen. The door shuts itself, so I will not come out with you. Carl, I ask you once more to forgive me.

_All go out irresolutely, one by one, with different expressions upon their faces, shaking HENRY’S hand. HENRY remains alone; walks up and down the room. He is tall, wears a dark coat, with round flaps, gray trousers, neatly creased—his usual costume. All new and strong, and his shoes are also strong and new. His face is regular, dark-complexioned, stern. His hair is short. He wears a small mustache. The house painters resume their song. HENRY stops and listens._

HENRY

What’s that again? Who is there? What’s that?

Listens; suddenly strikes the back of the armchair violently.

Stop!

The song is continued. It is sung softly, sadly, monotonously. HENRY walks over to the door and shouts.

Eh, you! Stop! Quit your work! Go home!

He walks up and down the room again, pauses, walks again, looking at the door impatiently.

They call this “Russian sadness.” What nonsense, “Russian sadness!” Is there also such a thing as Swedish sadness? Then I feel it too! Who? Henry Tile. Who? Unworthy Elizabeth? And who else? And again Henry Tile, Henry Tile—O my God!

Sighs, whistling, as one who has a toothache. The two house painters, frightened, slip by quietly in the dark like two shadows.

Wait! It isn’t necessary to work any longer—it’s dark already—you can’t see anything. And tell your master that I don’t need your work any more, anyway. Where are you going? This way, there’s no one there. The door shuts itself.

The house painters go out, HENRY roams about the room, going to unexpected nooks, taps on the wall, as though looking for some forgotten door. He gradually blends with the gathering darkness.

There is no one there, and there is no one here. Alone. Oh, Elizabeth, Elizabeth! Alone! Now I can break everything, smash and throw to the ground!

Throws something on the floor.

I can destroy—and no one can stop me. I can destroy everything. Here is the piano.

He strikes the piano forcefully, and it resounds.

How it sounds! And if I strike it again?

He strikes it again and it sounds again.

How it sounds! When I banged the table, they were frightened and they cried: “Henry, Henry, Henry!” I suppose I must have struck it powerfully, for my hand hurts. They cried, “Henry!” then, but now nobody will cry. I can strike, break, destroy. Nobody will stop me—I am alone. And I can take the revolver from the table, put it against my head and fire. What then? Then I will lie on the floor until morning. Then some one will break the door—who?

Pause.

No! But she is already married. My God! My God! My God! She is already married—already! My God! I hadn’t thought of this. What shall I do, what am I going to do all night long—all night. She is already married—How am I going to pass the night? It is so early, darkness has just set in. What am I going to do all night long! Elizabeth! Liza!

Pause.

No.

Pause.

Suddenly his figure stirs in the darkness and he walks quickly.

But that is impossible! I have forgotten! I have taken the apartment for three years. That’s impossible, that’s stupid—I cannot. Three years! I am ashamed. I have made a nursery, but I am not so ashamed of that. And my apartment? My God! And I have placed music upon the piano. Music. I bought it. Yes. What was I thinking about? She would have played, and I would have been sitting quietly, listening. I would have kissed her hand. Perhaps it would have been just as dark as it is now. I would have taken her gentle hand and put it to my lips. How is it done? This way.

Silence. In the darkness his soft voice is heard, full of longing:

What a long night! What a dark night! Liza!

Curtain

ACT II

SCENE: _The same scene as in the first act, only the dinner table is missing. Nothing is changed there, although a year has gone by. It is evening and electric lights are burning. CARL TILE is sitting at the writing table, cross-examining IVAN, the man servant._

CARL

And what time does my brother usually come home?

IVAN

He has his dinner at the restaurant and comes home about eight o’clock. He goes out again at nine or ten. I don’t know when he comes back.

CARL

And when do you go home?

IVAN

At ten. Sometimes he sends me away earlier.

CARL

Did you serve in the army?

IVAN

Yes, sir. In the cavalry.

CARL

Ah! Fine! You look all right, Ivan, and you answer questions sensibly. Fine!

IVAN

Glad to serve you.

CARL

Fine! Well, does he go out every evening?

IVAN

No, twice a week. All the other evenings he stays home. Perhaps he goes out after ten, only I don’t know about it.

CARL

Correct. Who visits him?

IVAN

No one.

CARL

Really?

IVAN

Only Mr. Alexandrov comes up very often.

CARL

Which Alexandrov? From the bank?

IVAN

Smiling:

No. They call him “Feklusha.”

CARL

Ah! What do they do?

IVAN

I don’t know.

CARL

You answer wonderfully. But what do you serve them?

IVAN

Cognac.

CARL

Much?

IVAN

Plenty. We have a large stock of it.

CARL

Indeed! I know this Mr. Alexandrov. Be careful, Ivan, that he doesn’t steal a fur coat some day.

IVAN

Smiling:

I’m watching him.

CARL

You are a splendid fellow. Now, Ivan, tell me: I suppose you have a key of your own for the outside door?

IVAN

Yes, sir. I have two keys for the back door. One is an extra key in case I lose the other one.

CARL

Correct. Can’t you give me one of the keys? I sometimes pass here after ten o’clock. I want to get a book, and there is no one to open the door.

IVAN

I doubt it.

CARL

Nonsense. I am not Mr. Alexandrov, who may steal a fur coat. Here you have five rubles.

IVAN

Thank you very much. But I still have my doubts about it.

CARL

Nonsense! Here are five rubles more.

IVAN

Here is the key. But in case anything happens?

CARL

Of course, I take everything upon myself. You are a splendid fellow! I like sensible people. Here are two rubles more. Wait. Who’s ringing the bell?

IVAN

I suppose it is Mr. Alexandrov—it can’t be any one else. Excuse me.

Exit, returns shortly, followed by FEKLUSHA. Announces, smiling:

Mr. Alexandrov.

FEKLUSHA

Flatteringly:

Good evening, Mr. Tile.

CARL walks up and down the room, without responding, as though not noticing Alexandrov at all.

I suppose Henry will be here soon. It is almost eight o’clock.

CARL walks silently, then stops in front of FEKLUSHA and looks at him fixedly.

CARL

I am dreadfully sick of you, Mr. Feklusha! For more than six months I haven’t come here once without seeing that simpleton’s face of yours. Why do you snoop around here? You work for the police, while I am an honest man, a student—you are repulsive to me.

FEKLUSHA

What will you do about it, Mr. Tile?

CARL

I’ve offended him. “Mr. Tile!” Yes, I am Mr. Tile, and if you steal a fur coat some day, Mr. Feklusha—

FEKLUSHA

Upon my word, I’ll complain to Henry. Why do you persecute me, why do you make my life miserable? I work for the police, but I am an honest man—I have a family.

CARL

He talks of honesty!

IVAN

I’m going to complain!

CARL

And I will tell him that you are lying. Whom will he believe, Mr. Feklusha? I’m bored. I didn’t have enough sleep last night. Tell me some interesting lie.

IVAN

I am not a liar. Lie yourself.

CARL

Rude—rude into the bargain! It seems you have no abilities of any kind. That’s terrible—to be a nonentity, a fool, to be unable to do anything, even to lie. And in addition to that, to have an enormous family, dirty children—to love them, and wipe their noses tenderly! Fool! And in addition to all that to be sensitive, to have a certain self-respect. Self-respect! And I suppose his wife beats him too—I can tell by his beard. Your wife beats you, Mr. Feklusha, doesn’t she?

FEKLUSHA

I don’t feel like answering you.

CARL

I suppose your wife is a very untidy woman. And you are not particularly clean yourself, Mr. Alexandrov. You are repulsive to me. Why aren’t you just an insect? Then you could be easily removed—with insect powder. We wouldn’t have to stand upon ceremony with you. How absurd!

He walks silently, then stops again in front of FEKLUSHA, very close to him.

Are you angry? Don’t be angry. Believe me, I was only jesting. Don’t you want to look at me at all? Well, let me see your little eyes. I slept very poorly last night, I spent the night with a woman, and I am nervous; do you understand, Feklusha, I am nervous! Under such circumstances a man will talk all sorts of nonsense.

FEKLUSHA

I’m not angry, but why should you offend a man like that? I haven’t done you any harm. It’s a sin, Mr. Tile.

CARL

It isn’t right, I have already admitted it. Tell me, my dear fellow, what have you been doing here with my brother Henry?

FEKLUSHA

Nothing. Upon my word of honor!

CARL

Since you give me your word of honor, I bow to you and am silent. But what does he do? Every man does something—what does my brother Henry do?

FEKLUSHA

I don’t know. Upon my word of honor!

CARL

Henry stays home, he has given up his sprees, and spends his evenings with a strange character like you. Don’t you think Henry has gone out of his mind—not altogether, but a little?

FEKLUSHA

Oh, no—I don’t think so at all. You and I may go out of our minds, but not he!

CARL

It is very interesting to talk with you. You have such fascinating little eyes, Mr. Feklusha, and if you are not a downright scoundrel, then I know nothing about scoundrels.

FEKLUSHA

Again?

CARL

Let us combine, Mr. Feklusha. Do you want to make twenty thousand rubles? You can’t imagine it? Well, then, here is the proposition: Persuade my brother Henry to insure his life for a hundred thousand rubles.

FEKLUSHA

I don’t understand you. I can’t tell when you are jesting and when you are not.

CARL

It’s as plain as day. Altogether one hundred thousand rubles. Twenty thousand for you, and eighty thousand for me, as his brother, and for the idea.

FEKLUSHA

But, for that, he would have to die!

Carl laughs.

CARL

You are comical.

FEKLUSHA

But what is he going to die from? What an idea! Henry is a strong man.

CARL

Laughs loudly.

You are very comical, Mr. Feklusha! You ought to be in a circus. You are a clown!

FEKLUSHA

Rising.

I am going to complain to Henry! What do you mean? Why do you annoy me like Satan? Satan!

CARL

Indifferently:

You are a perfect fool! And there is such an odor about you—I suppose you don’t know what a bath is. Fie! Go and take a bath. I’ll give you some money for a bath.

FEKLUSHA

I’ll tell him everything, you’ll see!

CARL

Still more indifferently:

Hold your tongue! I am disgusted with you. I want to walk and think. Keep quiet—and don’t disturb me. If you breathe a word about it I will tell my brother Henry this evening that you were urging me to insure his life and kill him. Silence!

He walks up and down the room slowly. FEKLUSHA is silent. A knock on the door in the corridor. After a few seconds HENRY enters.

HENRY

Good evening, Carl. How are you? Good evening, Feklusha. Sit down.

CARL

Thank you, and how are you, Henry?

HENRY

Quite well. Have you been here long?

CARL

A little while.

HENRY

Did you come for money, Carl? I believe your month is not up yet.

CARL

Thank you. I still have enough. Besides, I have found a good pupil.

HENRY

Don’t stand upon ceremony with me, Carl. I intend to increase your allowance twenty rubles a month. Feklusha, at yesterday’s conference they decided to increase my salary by twelve hundred a year.

FEKLUSHA

Really? I congratulate you, I congratulate you from the bottom of my heart.

HENRY

The management appreciates my services.

CARL

I don’t even congratulate you, Henry—it is so natural. Yesterday I met Tizenhausen, and he told me that you have become ideal. He assured me that he had never seen such a correct, tireless, and perfect worker as you are. Everybody fears you at the bank.

HENRY

Oh, yes, they are all afraid of me. When I pass by, they don’t dare lift their heads from their work. Yesterday I dismissed two clerks for not being punctual. Yes, people have reason to be afraid of me.

CARL

Of course, you don’t include me among them? I am jesting, Henry. But here is something I wanted to ask you seriously—I was talking about it with your friend here.

HENRY

With my client, Carl. The Romans used to say so.

CARL

I beg your pardon, with your client. I find that his condition is terrible. He has an enormous family, lack of means, lack of abilities.

HENRY

Well?

CARL

I don’t need any more money. Be generous, Henry, give him the increase of twenty rubles a month. I ask you seriously.

Pause. HENRY looks at his brother attentively. CARL is serious and modest.

HENRY

Good, Good! Feklusha, did you hear what he said? Thanks to my brother, Carl, now you will get twenty rubles a month from me.

FEKLUSHA

Confused.

I really don’t know—My God! Thank you, Mr. Tile. I can’t express my—but in the name of my whole family—!

On the point of tears. The brothers look at him.

CARL

To his brother, softly:

He is agitated.

Loudly:

Well, good night, Henry, good night. Are you staying home this evening?

HENRY

No, I have an appointment. Good night, Carl. The door shuts itself.

Exit CARL. HENRY waits until the door closes. Mockingly shows with his face and hand how the door closed, and laughs loudly. FEKLUSHA looks at him with a certain sense of fear.

FEKLUSHA

Henry, you were drinking this evening at dinner?

HENRY

I always drink at dinner. If Carl were not my brother, I would have said that Carl was a—fool. (Laughs.) They gave me an increase of twelve hundred! They say I am ideal. Feklusha, they are afraid of me at the bank!

FEKLUSHA

Laughs flatteringly.

Very clever, Henry! I am amazed how you do it. Was it true that you dismissed two clerks?

HENRY

Yes.

FEKLUSHA

After all, I am sorry for them. Have they families?

HENRY

Whatever the situation, I cannot permit inaccuracies. They deserved to be dismissed.

FEKLUSHA

And what about the twenty rubles for me? Is that true, or were you only jesting?

HENRY

You are a rabbit—simply a cowardly rabbit. No, I was not jesting. You will get twenty rubles a month—but not long, not long, Feklusha! (Laughs.) These foolish people at the bank are afraid of me. I want to steal a million from them, and they are afraid of me! I want to steal a million from them, and they say, “Henry Tile is an irreproachable worker, he is ideal.” Isn’t it comical, Alexandrov?

FEKLUSHA

Sternly:

I don’t believe it, Henry. These are only words to test me, nothing else. Excuse me.

HENRY

You believe I am so honest?

FEKLUSHA

I don’t believe anything. I admit that with all your talent you could easily appropriate from the bank not only one million, but two millions—as many as you want. But—!

HENRY

Steal, Feklusha! Speak as a friend—steal!

FEKLUSHA

Still worse—steal! But what’s the sense of it? What’s the sense, Henry? I ask you with tears in my eyes, explain it to me, don’t torture my head, don’t torment me! Here they have given you an increase of twelve hundred and they will soon give you another increase—Henry, you are my benefactor, but I am absolutely convinced that you are just making sport of me.

HENRY

You are foolish, Feklusha.

FEKLUSHA

I have heard that many times. You can’t surprise me with that, nevertheless I don’t believe in your plan. My God! And why do you talk to me about it? What sort of comrade am I to you? You have the mind of a cabinet minister, and what am I? No. I am absolutely sure you are jesting, you are just acting, as in a play. You are not going to run away anywhere!

HENRY

You are a fool, Feklusha! You are all fools, and none of you knows Henry Tile with his great soul. I have a great soul! My soul dwells in a palace, and not in this stupid apartment, where the nursery windows face the sun! But let them be deceived—I am gladdened by the sight of the deluded fools.

FEKLUSHA

I don’t want to know about it, I don’t want to! Do you hear, Mr. Tile, or no? I don’t want to hear any more about it. For the past six months, ever since you told me about it, I haven’t slept a single night—upon my word!

HENRY

Why should you sleep?

FEKLUSHA

What do you mean? I once lived without care.

HENRY

Why should you sleep? I do not sleep nights either. Oh, I have slept long enough, and now I have awakened. Don’t you see the sun that is shining for me at night? That is my sun, I have awakened. Henry Tile, who is fond of punctuality, who placed this stupid music upon the piano, who leased the apartment for three years, for ten years, for a hundred years—Henry Tile has awakened! Would you like me to play for you “The Waltz of the Dogs”? Listen. I’ll play for you “The Waltz of the Dogs.”

He plays it in the same serious, wooden, affected manner as before. Then he laughs.

HENRY

Did you hear it?

FEKLUSHA

I did. You were drinking at dinner this evening.

HENRY

I always drink at dinner, I told you that before. But I see that you too need a drink to brighten up your dull brain.

Rings.

We’ll have a little cognac now.

FEKLUSHA

Laughing, pathetically:

Now I believe you again. How you say it, a little cognac.

HENRY

Not so loud.

Enter Ivan.

Ivan, give us some cognac—or—that would be fine—let us have some Swedish punch. Quick!

Exit Ivan.

Do you like Swedish punch?

FEKLUSHA

I adore Swedish punch, but what’s the use? I don’t see the use of it.

HENRY

The use of it is that you drink cognac and punch, while Henry Tile is deceiving the fools with his arithmetic. And the use of it is also—and I want you to take note of it—that in about two weeks from now I am going away with a million rubles. I will not tell you the exact day.

FEKLUSHA

Why should I know the exact day? But how will you go, if you haven’t even a foreign passport?

HENRY

I have it. But listen: Yesterday I was again examining the railway map and I discovered that my original plan of escape by way of Stockholm will not do. I’d be caught in Stockholm or in Malme. I am a severe critic. I see everything in advance. I have another plan now.

FEKLUSHA

What is it?

HENRY

I am not going to tell you.

FEKLUSHA

I wouldn’t remember it, anyway. How many plans you have already told me! I forget them as soon as you tell them to me. What a head I have! Are we going to examine the map this evening? I like it—it’s so interesting, it takes my breath away.

HENRY

No. Not so loud. Ivan is coming.

Enter Ivan, with punch, which he puts on the table.

Ivan, you may go home now, I’ll not need you this evening. Good night, Ivan.

IVAN

Good night.

Exit.

HENRY

Drink, Feklusha, brighten up your dull brain. It’s excellent punch!

FEKLUSHA

If I could only brighten it up! To-day my little boy took sick—the measles, I don’t know—I went away from home—there is nothing for me to do there. A fine father, indeed!

HENRY

This evening we will go to that dirty little tavern of yours. I want to drink much this evening, to talk and see many people. But not fools! Feklusha, do you know that Elizabeth came to me twice and knocked at this door?

FEKLUSHA

No. Really? She was here herself?

HENRY

Yes. The first time she was sent away by Ivan, and the second time I myself opened this door for her, I raised my hand this way and said to her, “Go!” She said, “Forgive me.” I said to her, “Go, foolish Elizabeth!” and I closed the door.

FEKLUSHA

Drinks and laughs.

I pity the women, they are foolish. But you loved her?

HENRY

No! And we are going this evening to that little tavern of yours—I like the people in that tavern!

FEKLUSHA

Very well, then, let us go. I am ready for anything.

HENRY

And I like you, too. With you I can talk as if I were alone. And yet I am not alone, because you have ears. But I am alone because these are the ears of a donkey! But you are sly—you are a very sly little animal.

FEKLUSHA

How am I sly? What are you saying? I was dreaming of becoming a detective—why, anybody would escape from under my very nose, and I wouldn’t even notice it! Eh?

Drinks.

HENRY

No. You are a very, very sly little rabbit. I can see it. You have thought up something for yourself, you don’t want to be a fool. Oh, you are a great scoundrel! But that doesn’t matter, for I have already been forewarned by my angel!

Laughs.

That doesn’t matter!

FEKLUSHA

Stop this. Is it possible that you know all the trains and all the steamers?

HENRY

All.

FEKLUSHA

Just think of it! All? And I can’t even find the right street car, I always get into the wrong one. And is it possible that you need only two sheets of paper in order to get that million? It’s hardly credible!

HENRY

Only two.

FEKLUSHA

What a talent! And what kind of papers do you need?

HENRY

You don’t have to know that, you foolish Feklusha. That’s superfluous. But in about two weeks a certain very correct gentleman will be traveling on a certain steamer and he will have a million in his pocket. And traveling on a certain steamer that gentleman will raise his hand this way—he will stretch it towards the distant shores and say, Good-by, distant and foolish shores! Good-by, apartment with a nursery facing the sun! And good-by and be cursed, and dead, and buried, Henry Tile, who loved order! Feklusha, would you like me to clasp your hand so that your bones will break?

FEKLUSHA

No. I don’t like such jokes, Henry.

HENRY

Mr. Tile, and not Henry! If I see you again in any way disrespectful to me, Feklusha, my old comrade, the only friend of Henry Tile, I will not only break your hand, but I will break every bone in your body. Do you hear?

FEKLUSHA

It was unintentional. How could I allow myself to be disrespectful to you? My God, don’t I understand the difference?

HENRY

Well said! Empty your glass and let us go at once to your little tavern. There you will keep quiet and drink until your eyes turn green, and I will drink, laugh, bang the table, and talk about the foolish, dead Henry Tile. Come!

FEKLUSHA

Rising.

I was going to ask you something, since you are so kind. Of course, I am a married man, but why shouldn’t we go to a certain house on the way from the tavern? The women there are excellent, they are even intelligent. Really! It would be nice for you, too.

HENRY

Foolish and vulgar. You are a dreadfully petty scamp, you are a rabbit. Come!

FEKLUSHA

Emptying his glass.

Right away. Well, then, we won’t. I am not a scamp at all. I am simply an unfortunate man. If my child is ill—I am coming.

HENRY

Turn out the light.

_They turn out the light and go out. For some time the stage is empty. Then the door from the other rooms opens slowly, a careful whisper is heard, and two shadows, dimly lighted by the lantern in the street, move in the room. The restrained laugh of a woman is heard._

CARL

Loudly and firmly:

There’s no one here. They went away. You may come in. Don’t be afraid.

WOMAN’S VOICE

Oh, I hurt my knee.

Laughs.

We are here like thieves.

CARL

I can’t find the switch. I think it is here. Wait, Liza, don’t go before I turn on the light.

ELIZABETH

No, don’t turn on the light, wait. I am sitting in an armchair. But I don’t realize where I am. It is terribly interesting. We are like thieves in a strange apartment. They also sit in armchairs and look around this way. Let us make believe we are thieves, Carl.

Jestingly, in a threatening whisper:

Let us kill and rob your brother Henry Tile.

CARL

I haven’t the slightest desire to play. But it was stupid of me not to take along the flashlight. Where are you? I can’t see you.

ELIZABETH

Here.

CARL

I can’t see anything, Liza. I am falling asleep. Another night like this and another day like to-day, and I’ll fall asleep while walking. Strange! Aren’t you tired?

ELIZABETH

Laughing softly:

No.

CARL

And I—

Yawns.

Do you ever let your husband sleep?

ELIZABETH

My husband—yes. But how interesting it is that we can’t see anything. I don’t know where you are sitting. What room is this? I am afraid to look at it in the light. I was in this apartment only twice. It wasn’t finished yet, but Henry showed me how it would be finished. Tell me—no, don’t turn on the light, but tell me—here, over the piano, are two pictures. Wait, I recall, yes, the head of Beethoven and some “concert”—yes?

CARL

No. There are no pictures here.

ELIZABETH

And the rugs?

CARL

There are no rugs here.

ELIZABETH

And the armchair in the corner?

CARL

I don’t know. I am telling you Henry left the apartment unfinished. I am tired of this, Liza. Why did you drag me here? What do you want here?

ELIZABETH

I want it.

CARL

If this isn’t your usual foolishness, it is a perverted whim. It’s immaterial to me, but this is simply uninteresting. And if it is part of your program this evening to shed tears about the broken home, then pardon me—I’ll fall asleep.

ELIZABETH

I don’t remember Henry’s face. Does he resemble you? I can’t recall his face.

CARL

Good night. I am falling asleep.

ELIZABETH

You are dreadfully abominable. I am surprised that such an honest and honorable man as Henry should have such a dishonest brother.

CARL

And therefore, leaving the honest Henry, you became the mistress of the dishonest Carl? Correct!

ELIZABETH

According to you, I am also——

CARL

Also what? First you betrayed Henry with your husband, now you are betraying both Henry and your husband with me. Well, your husband, of course, is a fool, but after all—and then, you are supporting me. You know, that is not particularly moral.

ELIZABETH

Turn on the light.

CARL

Gladly.

Looking for the switch.

Lizette, I don’t understand why you are so disgusted with me. You have just said so tragically, “Abominable.” There!

Turns on the light. ELIZABETH is sitting in the armchair near the piano; she covers her eyes with both hands as the light is suddenly turned on. CARL sits down again, tired, blinking at the light.

I am convenient, because you may say everything and do everything with me. The devil take them! They have been drinking punch here. That makes the picture lively. Mr. Feklusha is managing his affairs quite nicely. Punch!

ELIZABETH takes her hands away from her eyes and examines the room with fear. She wears large diamond earrings. She is beautiful.

ELIZABETH

This is terrible! This is terrible!

CARL

It is simply tasteless.

ELIZABETH

No! It looks as if a crime had been committed here. A crime was committed here. I am a murderess, Carl!

CARL

Nonsense! A woman’s nerves! But something is here—a certain interesting odor. Crime! There’s a word that should be pronounced cautiously. It has a magic effect. Ah, the devil take it. And the door. He has a key, he may come back any moment. Let us go!

ELIZABETH

Wait. I am looking. I love him!

CARL

I have no doubt. What wonderful diamonds you have, Liza!

ELIZABETH

I love him. Why have I done it? It wasn’t necessary, it wasn’t necessary at all. I have an enormous amount of money, but I don’t need it, I don’t need it at all. But at that time I wanted money—or didn’t I want it? I don’t know. I don’t know! Carl, I’ll give you ten thousand to-morrow, if you like.

CARL

I do.

ELIZABETH

I’ll give you twenty thousand, if you like.

CARL

No, you won’t, my dear. You won’t give me even ten thousand, but you will give me five hundred for this visit. I know you, my dear! But I am not complaining. I am satisfied.

Walks uneasily.

Liza, my nerves are on edge.

Stretching himself.

We must do something. Let us go driving like mad in an automobile. Come. Meanwhile, let me kiss your ear—you have such wonderful ears.

ELIZABETH

Ears or—earrings?

CARL

Both. You are such a darling.

ELIZABETH

Leave me alone. Don’t dare!

CARL

I dare. And now this one!

Kisses her ear.

ELIZABETH

Mockingly:

Karlusha!

CARL

Quickly stepping away, angrily:

Please!

ELIZABETH

Karlusha! Karlusha!

CARL

Turning pale:

I have already asked you never to call me by that foolish name. My name is Carl and not Karlusha. Please remember!

ELIZABETH

Also turning pale, but continuing to laugh.

Karlusha! No! You are just Karlusha!

CARL

Violently:

But I ask you—seriously! You may call me whatever you like. I will not be offended, but I can’t bear this nickname. Do you hear? Don’t irritate me. Don’t irritate me!

ELIZABETH

And what will happen if I do—Karlusha?

CARL

Slowly:

What will happen? My brother Henry will be tried for the murder of Elizabeth. I will choke you. Silence!

ELIZABETH

Retreating, in a whisper:

Karlusha, Karlusha, Karlusha!

CARL

Advancing a step, also in a low voice:

Keep quiet. Will you? For the last time——

ELIZABETH

Hiding behind the armchair:

Karlusha!

CARL advances towards her silently. ELIZABETH retreats, without turning her widened eyes from him. Suddenly she stops and listens.

Hush!

Frightened.

Some one is coming.

CARL

Also frightened.

Where? Ssh!

ELIZABETH

Footsteps.

CARL

No.

ELIZABETH

Some one is behind that door.

CARL

Tss. Where?

Both are pale, bending, listening attentively. Pause. The electric light is burning.

Curtain

ACT III

SCENE I: _Night. Fog. The bank of one of the Petrograd canals. Lanterns are seen in the distance. A cast iron gate is seen distinctly in the foreground. Beyond it, the canal and the other side are enveloped in darkness, and enormous houses are outlined faintly in the background. Lights are seen in some of the windows here and there—the lights are faint and motionless like yellow spots._

HENRY TILE and FEKLUSHA are standing and talking, half leaning against the gate. Henry is smoking a cigar.

HENRY

You are drunk, Feklusha, you are absolutely drunk. Your eyes are green. Come.

FEKLUSHA

I won’t.

HENRY

Shall I call a cab? Then you won’t have to drag your feet.

FEKLUSHA

I don’t want to.

HENRY

I’ll give you some more cognac.

FEKLUSHA

I don’t want any. You’re drunk yourself. I don’t want to go to your apartment—leave me alone. I don’t want to!

HENRY

Don’t yell.

FEKLUSHA

I’m not yelling.

Pause.

Let me go, Henry. I will go down on my knees before you, if you like. I will go down on my knees before you, but let me go, or I will shout again.

HENRY

Alexandrov!

FEKLUSHA

I won’t. Why did you take me along?

Cries.

I was hiding, but you found me—I can’t bear it any more. I don’t want to go to that tavern any more. I don’t want your cognac, I want to go home—my wife is waiting for me.

HENRY

You are drunk. Don’t cry, it’s foolish. Listen, have you forgotten what you wanted to do? Try to recall! Recall! You were planning to betray me when I run away with the money—in order to get one third. That would make you rich—rich! Recall!

FEKLUSHA

Well, I wanted to do it, but now I don’t want to do it. I was driven insane by your maps; I began to feel like a bloodhound. I was running and running, without knowing where I was running. The day I met you on the Nevsky was cursed—I felt happy—I had found an old friend!

HENRY

Yes, that day was cursed. You express yourself precisely. Come to my house, come; it will be very nice there. Have you forgotten? We will light all the lamps, I will get some cognac.

FEKLUSHA

I won’t go. That’s my last word, Mr. Tile.

HENRY

Call me Henry.

FEKLUSHA

I don’t want to. Either you run away with your million or—to the devil with it all! To the devil!

HENRY

Very well, I’ll run away. Have another drink, it’s cognac.

FEKLUSHA

Where did you get it?

Drinks from the bottle.

Very good. And you?

HENRY

I’ll have a drink, too.

Drinks.

FEKLUSHA

Laughs.

Fine comrades! The people of your bank should see you now—how funny! By God!

HENRY

Laughs softly.

They are sleeping, and they see in their dreams that Henry Tile is busy with his arithmetic. While Henry Tile is drinking cognac with Feklusha.

Both laugh, swaying.

FEKLUSHA

Where are we? I don’t know this place. Where are we, Henry?

HENRY

This is the Catherine Canal. And that is the fog—and there is the water. Do you want to spit into the water?

FEKLUSHA

I do.

Spits.

And what is that?

HENRY

Those are the lighted windows of the houses on the other side. Someone is awake.

FEKLUSHA

And I thought only we were awake. Haven’t you any more cognac? I would drink some more. I feel cold.

HENRY

Come to my apartment, and I’ll give you more. There is a little round table, and on the table are cognac and punch. Are you fond of punch?

FEKLUSHA

Still obstinate, but weakening,

I won’t go. Either you run away right now, or—! Why don’t you run away? What sort of a thief are you? Upon my word of honor! I’ll throw myself into the canal, by God, I will!

HENRY

Oh, what a sly little beast you are! You are all very sly beasts, and you want to be slier than Henry Tile, but you cannot. He will deceive you, Feklusha! I was jesting. You may run after me night and day, but you will not overtake me. You will lose your reason altogether, your eyes will turn yellow, you will be howling at the door, but you will not overtake me!

FEKLUSHA

My eyes are yellow now. And you are also drunk.

HENRY

You are foolish! I cannot be drunk. I drink this—(Throws the bottle into the water)—and it turns into fire, it burns like a flame. I am full of fire!

FEKLUSHA

I would have run away twenty times.

HENRY

Oh, yes. You would have run away twenty times. Another fool would have run away twenty times—and twenty times the police would have caught another fool! But I am waiting. I am thinking and waiting. Oh, I have grown tired of making plans and upsetting them, but soon I am going to have a plan which cannot be upset—and then I shall disappear. One, two, three—Uf!

Blows at his fingers.

Where is Henry Tile? Disappeared. Excuse me, he has put on a magic cap. Feklusha! Could you overtake a phantom?

FEKLUSHA

Laughing plaintively:

Now it seems to me that I believe you again. You are a real tempter—a demon. I had better go home.

HENRY

Believe me, please, believe me! I have a remarkable mind which sees everything. You say this is the fog, and I am telling you that these are the wings on which Henry Tile will fly away. I have a remarkable mind; it thinks while others sleep. What is it thinking about? Everything! Oh, what dreams I see, what a happy man I am!

Laughs happily.

Excuse me, I pushed you.

FEKLUSHA

Never mind, Henry, that’s nothing.

HENRY

That’s impolite. Excuse me. Fools ask me, What do you do all day long, you are always alone? Why, I haven’t enough days and nights for thinking! Thinking! Thinking! They take me to see gay women, they take me as if I were sick and needed a cure, and they ask me, Isn’t it fine, Henry Tile? And I say to them, Very good! What a wonderful orgy!

Laughs.

FEKLUSHA

Also laughing:

Are the women nice?

HENRY